HEELHEID-Week1-Dag3:- Gewonde genesers (Afrikaans en Engels)

2 Kor 1:3-4: Aan God, die Vader van ons Here Jesus Christus, kom al die lof toe! Hy is die Vader wat Hom ontferm en die God wat in elke omstandigheid moed gee. In elke moeilikheid bemoedig Hy ons. Daarom kan ons ook ander bemoedig wat in allerlei moeilikhede verkeer. Ons kan hulle bemoedig met dieselfde bemoediging waarmee God ons bemoedig.

Dit nou ’n jaar sedert Boko Haram meer as 200 meisies uit ’n skool in Nigerië ontvoer het. Ek kan my nie die trauma wat hierdie meisies deurgaan voorstel nie. Hulle lewens is onherroeplik verander. Ek kan my ook nie voorstel wat hulle ouers deurgaan nie. Hulle lewens moet hel wees.

Dan is daar aanvalle op buitelanders in Suid-Afrika in die sentrale sakegebied van Durban en ander dele van Kwazulu-Natal. Wat ’n verskriklike situasie! Mense het na Suid-Afrika toe gekom om ’n beter lewe te hê. Nou word hulle aangerand en selfs vermoor. Ons is soms baie gesofistikeerd en soms baie wreed wanneer ons lewens vernietig. Soms is sogenaamde goeie bedoelings net ’n dekmantel wat ons vasberadenheid om ons ambisies, ideologieë en selfgesentreerde drome waar te laat word, dien.

Hierdie situasies is net ’n paar vensters op die verskriklike uitdagings en pyn wat mense beleef. Hulle het nie hiervoor gekies nie. Hulle is die slagoffers. Daar is baie sulke slagoffers.

Die meeste van hierdie slagoffers word ouers en gades. Hulle sal vir ewig die merke van die brutaliteit of gesofistikeerde misbruik in hulle ronddra. In baie gevalle dra hulle hulle pyn en wonde met waardigheid. Tog het hulle wonde soms ’n ernstige uitwerking op toekomstige verhoudings en persoonlike funksionering. Soms gebeur dit in die politieke verandering dat die onderdruktes die verdrukkers word wanneer hulle oorneem. Dit is ook waar in menslike verhoudings. En so begin die siklus verwonding omdat ek verwond is. Soms mishandel die mishandelde. Soms kies mense wat alkoholiste pa’s of ma’s gehad het om self te veel te drink of kies hulle ’n eggenoot met dieselfde probleem. Ons omstandighede verwond ons soms so erg dat ons selfs doelbewus kies om onsself te vernietig.

Henri Nouwen het die briljante boek, The Wounded Healer, geskryf. Lees dit gerus! Ons wonde is nie net struikelblokke wat ons moet oorkom nie, maar kan instrumente vir medelye word. Wanneer Paulus oor sy eie lyding as gevolg van omstandighede skryf, sien hy dit ook so. Wanneer hy terugkyk oor wat hy ervaar het, lei hy daaruit af dat God dit gebruik sodat hy ander mense kan help.

Die beste helpers van die wat deur spesifieke omstandighede gebreek is, is hulle wat self in soortgelyke omstandighede gebreek is. Miskien het jy vreeslike situasies in jou lewe ervaar. Jy het nie daarvoor gekies nie. Miskien het jy ‘n gevangene van jou omstandighede geword en sien jy geen uitweg nie. Ja, ons het die hulp van ander en veral God se hulp nodig om die dinge wat ons aangedoen is, te hanteer. Onthou egter dat jy nie in die verlede vasgevang hoef te wees nie. Wanneer jy na God in alle omstandighede draai, sal jy ontdek dat Hy die krag en die vermoë het om jou toe te rus om nie net die pyn wat jy ervaar het te oorkom nie, maar ook jou ervarings van die pyn te gebruik om die pyn van ander te verlig.

Henri Nouwen skryf, “Om van jou eie wonde ’n bron van genesing te maak, vereis nie dat ons oppervlakkige persoonlike pyn deel nie. Dit vereis ’n konstante bereidwilligheid om jou eie pyn en lyding te sien as die opstaan uit die diepte van die menslike toestand wat ons almal deel … Ons weet nie waar ons oor twee, tien, twintig jaar van nou af sal wees nie. Wat ons egter wel weet is dat mense ly en wanneer ons ons pyn deel dit sal help om ons vorentoe te laat beweeg (Uit: The Wounded Healer).

2 Cor 1:3-4: 3 Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, 4 who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.

It has been a year since Boko Haram abducted more than 200 girls from a school. I cannot imagine the trauma these girls are going through. Their lives have been irreversibly changed. I cannot imagine what their parents are going through. Their lives must be hell.

Then there are attacks on foreigners in South Africa in the central business district of Durban and other parts of Kwazulu-Natal. What a terrible situation! People were moving to South Africa to have a better life. Now they are assaulted and even killed. We are very sophisticated and sometimes brutal when it comes to destroying lives. Sometimes so-called good intentions are just a cloak covering our determination to serve our ambitions, ideologies and self centred dreams.

These are just a few windows on the terrible challenges and pain people are going through. They did not cause the trouble. They are victims. There are many such victims.

Most of these victims become parents and spouses. They will forever bear the marks of the brutality or sophisticated abuse they went through. In many cases they carry their pain and wounds with dignity. Yet, sometimes their wounds have a serious effect on future relationships and personal functioning. Sometimes it happens in political change that the oppressed becomes the oppressor. It is also true in human relations. And so the cycle of being wounded and wounding others begins. Sometimes the abused abuse. Sometimes those who had fathers as alcoholics choose to drink too much or choose a husband with the same problem. Our circumstances wounded us so much that we even deliberately choose to destroy ourselves.

Henri Nouwen wrote the brilliant book, The Wounded Healer. Please read it! Our wounds do not have to be only obstacles that we have to overcome, but can become instruments of compassion. When Paul writes about his own suffering because of circumstances, he sees it this way. When he looks back over what he experienced, the meaning that he derives from it is that God uses it now as a way of helping other people. Sometimes the best helpers of those who are broken by specific circumstances are those who were broken themselves in similar circumstances.

Maybe you have experienced terrible situations in your life. You have not chosen to be in those circumstances. Maybe you have become a prisoner of your circumstances and see no way out. Yes, we need the help of others and especially God’s help to cope with those things that have been done to us. However, remember that you do not have to be stuck in the past. When you turn to God in whatever circumstances, He has the power and ability to equip you not only to overcome the pain that you have experienced, but also to use your experiences of pain to relieve the pain of others.

Henri Nouwen writes, ‘Making one’s own wounds a source of healing, therefore, does not call for a sharing of superficial personal pains, but for a constant willingness to see one’s own pain and suffering as rising from the depth of the human condition that we all share… We do not know where we will be two, ten, or twenty years from now. What we can know, however, is that humans suffer and that a sharing of this suffering can help us move forward’ (From: The Wounded Healer).

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